Confused... Is this Abuse?
HI Everyone. I honestly cannot believe that I am writing this... especially since today is my wedding anniversary. I am not sure if these are just minor problems... or if I am really in an abusive relationship, and I really hope I can get some answers here.
We have always both been the nervous, sensitive type. However when we started to live together things really began to flare up. My husband can be a very sweet, kind and supportive person - loving, caring... the real deal. He has supported me in my studies and also when i was ill and has always shown me respect in intimacy. But he has a temper.
We could be speaking normally and then all of a sudden he just starts shouting and really swearing for the most stupid things... like me leaving things around or forgetting to throw the dust away after sweeping.
Last week he even turned completely red... and starting shouting loudly at me ... all because i could not understand what he was saying. It was like he got possessed as we were just leaving friends after a real nice evening.
He swears at me using religion at least once a week for the smallest things... like me trying to speak to him abut ideas for the house. He even shouts at his parents sometimes... so shocking. Every time we meet friends, i get a lecture afterwards about what i should have not said or done. Once he got me soo irritated that i just asked him to shut up. He told me that i am ignorant...
He never says sorry for being rude to me. It's my fault as I make him angry. My parents are also always being criticized and i have questioned how good parents they are because of this
Yesterday however made me totally question this relationship. After an evening of shouting and swearing i had had enough. I told him that he does not know how to speak to people, that he has a problem and that he should see why some of of neighbours do not speak to him.
He totally lost it. He grabbed a sheet and smacked it repeatedly on my back and said foul words, insulting me and my family. I did not hurt at all as it was just with the sheet... but i wonder whether he wanted to hurt me.
Today i got no apology.... I told him "happy anniversary" and that we could still try to change the day. He told me i should have thought about it yesterday... so once again it's my fault. Can anyone please tell me if i am going mad ... please????