Are You Being Abused?
Take This
Healthy Relationship Quiz And Find Out.

Most people think that "abuse" means physical abuse. But there is also emotional and mental abuse that make a relationship unhealthy. This Healthy Relationship Quiz was developed by the Santa Clara University Wellness Center to help women (and also men) decide if they are in an unhealthy and abusive relationship.

Take this quiz and see where you stand in your relationship.

1. Do you feel afraid to speak your mind, express how you feel or ask for something you need?

2. Does your partner tell you are "stupid", "crazy", or "inadequate" when you disagree?

3. Does your partner make fun of your ideas or opinions?

4. Is your partner bossy and/or try to control every detail in your relationship?

5. Is your partner extremely demanding and jealous?

6. Do you often feel guilty and second-guess your choices in friends, social activities, jobs, etc. because of your partner's negative comments about these choices?

7. Are you afraid of your partner's temper, feel like you walk on eggshells, and/or are constantly monitoring what you say and do as an attempt to avoid making him/her angry?

8. Do you find yourself making excuses for your partner and justifying his/her actions to others?

9. Do you feel more "free" to be yourself when he/she isn't around?

10. Does your partner throw or break things when angry?

11. Does your partner try to control where you go and what you do?

12. Does your partner pressure you to engage in sexual activities that you are uncomfortable with and put you down if you refuse?

13. Does your partner threaten to kill or hurt him/herself if you have a differing opinion, try to end the relationship, or do something they disapprove of?

14. Does your partner try to make you feel guilty for having a "life" (i.e. friends, interests) apart from the relationship?

15. Does your partner criticize your family and friends and ask you to stop seeing them?

16. Do you feel that you have changed, lost touch with who you are, or become someone else in order to be with your partner?

17. Have your friends or family expressed concern about your relationship and/or your well-being?

18. Does your partner know how to make you feel bad (i.e., what buttons to push) and use it often to hurt you?

19. Have you lost touch with your friends, and only hang out with your partner's friends?

20. Does your partner try to control you with anger and guilt, or lash out when you don't do exactly what he or she wants?

21. Has your partner ever hit, slapped, punched, shoved, grabbed or shook you?

22. Has your partner ever threatened to hurt you, take important things away, or leave you?

23. Has your partner ever called you names, put you down, insulted you, and/or embarrassed you in front of others?

24. Do you feel like you never get anywhere when you try to communicate?

25. Do you spend large amounts of time preoccupied with what you've said or how it's interpreted?

If you answered "yes" to 3 or more questions in this Healthy Relationship Quiz, you are experiencing signs of relationship abuse. Help is available with a relationship counselor.

Have You Ever Been Abused
Or in An Unhealthy Relationship?

Share your story of abuse.
Or perhaps give advice to others.
It may help you or someone else struggling
in an unhealthy relationship.

(Please don't use identifying names as these will be edited out.)

Click on the links below to read stories and comments about abusive relationships and what to do about them....

To find help and support for yourself:

• You must realize the seriousness of the abuse and make your recovery the first priority in your life
• Talk to trusted friends, family members, or professional counselors to help support you as you disentangle yourself from the relationship and regain your former self-esteem that has been temporarily stolen from you.