Helpless

by Bettye
(Florida)

Married 12 years, no children together, but two grown daughters; both with children.


The daughters hate me and disrespect me in public; refuse to come to our home, and hold the grandkids away as a way to punish (? him for our marriage.

My mother-in-law is prickly. You can be lulled into a false sense of comfort, then out of the blue, you are the subject of her manipulation.

My husband is the baby boy, and he loves his mother more than any man I have ever seen. IN fact, mother-in-law was labeled as his 2nd wife in our marriage!

My mother passed away 20 years ago, and I cannot say anything about how, when, and why he does anything for or with his mother. His treatment comes at our expense, time, and effort. We carry car insurance for her two old cars, while she drives a Mercedes 550. The old cars are parked at our house as well....looks like a used car lot at times.

Now, mother-in-law calls husband to ask if he would pay for lunch tomorrow for her and four other ladies, and she will pay him back...when she feels like it. In addition, hubby works midnights and will not be at the lunch; it will be just his wife....but his wife was not asked, he was......When I expressed my displeasure with this situation, he tried to shame me; stating I should be grateful SOMEONE asked me out to lunch...What???

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist

418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936

215-813-8633

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.


"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network