It's your fault...

by Unknown 16 Year Old Girl

Yes, I put it's your fault as the title, because like most people, I thought it was my fault when my boyfriend would hit me and scream at me. But now as I look back on it, I realize that it wasn't my fault. I couldn't control how my boyfriend acted.

It started after our second month anniversary, when I wanted to leave a party we where attending. My boyfriend didn't want to leave and when I told him that I really wanted to leave, he started yelling at me, said I was a stupid, self-centered bitch and we weren't leaving. When I tried to leave again, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me away from the door into a little room where he yelled at me again. When I started to cry, he took me in his arms and told me he was soooo sorry, but he really wants to stay.

The second time was a few weeks later when I told him that I was going to sleep over at my friends house. He told me I couldn't go. When I tried to argue with him, he slapped me and told me to shut the F up. I started crying but there was no way I was giving up, I told him that I was going and it didn't matter what he said. Before I could leave, he grabbed me by my shirt and pulled me towards him and into a wall. He had me in a corner and he was right there blocking my way to the door. I told him to let me go but he slapped me in the face and told me he wasn't letting me go until I promised I wouldn't go to the sleep-over.

I couldn't believe it. He was telling me what to do again! I told him to move or I'd hit him. But he just laughed. When I did "hit" him, it wasn't very powerfully and he laughed again; then punched me in the gut. I crumpled to the floor in pain and he told me to get up, he wasn't finished speaking to me.

Shaking I got up and stood there, scared of what he would do. He told me that I was to NEVER try to hit him again or I'd be sorry. Just to make sure I understood, he punched me again in the gut and left.


I didn't go to the sleep-over that night. Instead I stayed in my room and cried. My parents heard me crying and came into check on me. But I told them that I just hurt my foot on my dresser and I was okay.

The next day my boyfriend came over and told me that he didn't mean to hurt me last night. He was just hurt that I wanted to spend the night at my friends rather then with him. When I tried to tell him differently, he put his finger to my mouth and said, "Shhh, I understand, you didn't mean to but please next time talk to me and I won't have to hurt you. I don't like to hurt you, you're my little babe."

I don't know what I was thinking but I stayed with him for another six months with a few abusive scenes.

The last time was when he wanted to take things farther, and I didn't want to. He told me that if I loved him that I would. But I really didn't want to, and I told him that. He tried kissing me, trying to get me in the mood for it. But I pushed him away. He sat up and looked angry, but didn't say anything, just tried again. This time I pushed him off and said no! He pleaded with me, but I still didn't want to.

Then it got physical and he hit me, trying to undo my pants while I cried and tried to push him off. Without any luck, he sat up and yelled at me to hold still. Then he pined my arms to my side and kissed me. I struggled free and tried to get off the bed but he pulled me back and punched me in the gut repeatedly. I can't remember what happened after, I must have blacked out. But I do know that after that night I told my parents and we moved far away from him.

Still, to this day, I feel bad for leaving him but my safety was in danger.

To all of you other girls out there, please, get help and promise me that you will not do what I did and take the abuse!

By a 16 year old girl.