Lost a friendship

by Lauren
(Pennsylvaina)

I had a very good friend that i became friends with. And she and I have been friends for 2 years as we gotten to know each other. She's been a good friend, and I liked her for who she was.


I was respectful to her. her name was Shay and I am glad to have her as a friend i looked up to her like a big sister. and she helped me with my problems in the beginning. I spoke to her about my self inflicting injuring on my hands like biting them like a form of cutting. after i met her it stopped for a while.

then we had complications. I felt bad her mom is mean to her, and I cared. It's not her that i'm mad at. I'm mad at her mother for being a selfish bitch. I met Shay at the junior Prom. she helped me leave a relationship that was dangerous. so i got to know her, and became friends with her. she was so sweet. and still is probably even if we're not friends right now. what happened was i posted a youtube video, on spreading awareness on bullying. and she misunderstood the whole thing. I got sick of everyone picking on me because i have autism. So i made a video and did a lot of research on bullying. and it worked out great. all i did was thank her for being a good friend. and she was mean to me about it. she even filed a harassment complaint, and i didn't know it was harassment, a thank you. which sounds rather stupid. also i got back at her mom for harassing me and sending threats to me by my email. i have backups including my friend that's close with my family has backup.

so right now i have been crying and been depressed about the loss of shay's friendship since i haven't spoken to her. i'm hoping she'd come around at some point. but i really do miss her. right now my grandmother worries too much, and i am starting to get the feeling that she's not the forgiving type like me. she's trying to make me like her. which i rather not be like her. so i'm pretending to hate shay, like doing an act. but i really don't hate her. i love shay for who she is, and she'll always be my friend even if we can't see each other in person. i pray for that poor girl every night, she has to do all of the house chores, especially has to take care of her brother and sister. her mom just sits back on her ass and uses shay as a slave. I felt so bad. so i offered shay a place to stay for her and her siblings. I like her brother he's okay, same with her sister. and i'm willing to risk my own life for them. because i know their mother is nuts in a bad way enough to go and hurt someone physically.

So is it normal for me to be concerned about her even if there's no interaction between us? because i can name a lot of nice things she's done for me.

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Apr 19, 2014
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It is Ok to not hate Shay
by: Anonymous

From what I understand of your story, Shay has had a very positive effect on your life. So I do not think that it is abnormal or wrong to still feel respect and compassion towards her, even though, as you said, you may not be friends right now.

It seems to me that you were trying to do a good thing by raising awareness of the difficulties of bullying that many young people face, and that you were expressing your gratitude towards Shay at the same time. I can't say where Shay may have taken offense, but if you have been threatened, and you feel these threats to be serious then I would suggest contacting the police. If you are not comfortable doing so then perhaps you could ask your grandmother to pursue the matter for you.

Your grandmother seems to care about you very much, and you may or may not respect her decision to dislike Shay. I gather that you are pretending to hate Shay as well to avoid tension between yourself and your grandmother. And this is may be a reasonable response, though I would ask, In what other ways do you feel that pretending to hate her might serve or not serve you?

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