Pain and suffering

by lonely anonymous
(usa)

My boy friend and i have been together for 6 months.. When we started dating, he was the sweetest guy ever. His ex-girl friend told me that he has been abusive to her. But i ignored it cuz well he was being respectful and understanding to me.

2 months into the relationship, he had started calling me names and talking trash about everybody i hang out with and told me to make new friends. Every time i spent time with friends, he would constantly ask where i went, who i hung out with, how long, and why. This still continues.

He told me not to speak with them anymore and every time i did, he would yell at me about what bad friends they are. 4 months into it, he started pushing me but would apologize the next day.

But after a while, he started to push me more often, leaving bruises and saying that its my fault that i fell. He started throwing hard objects, including glass and pop, at me, and then say that i did that to myself. If i say he did it, then he'll freak out and start it up again.

One day, he left a bad carpet burn on me and broke my cell phone so i couldn't call the cops. i got scared and ran into the bathroom and locked the door. When he found out the door was locked, he kicked the door in while i was holding it shut. And when he kicked the door open, the impact made my head hit the wall and bleed. Then claims that it's my fault.

In all those times he had called me a greedy, cheating, filthy bitch. I start to feel depressed cuz he was literally brainwashing me with those names. He had threatened to kill my friends, family, then myself last, many times.

In the past weeks i've noticed knives laying around.. on top of the fridge, in his drawers and under the bed. I've removed them but they appear again soon. i love him so much but I'm scared for my life. And believe me its hard to move on when you are manipulated with love.

One day i will have the courage to walk if i don't die first.