PLEASE READ NEED ADVICE!

by Kristy
(Bonita, Florida)

I met my boyfriend while our families were on vacation. We were together from that moment on. He always seemed a bit selfish and had huge blowouts with his parents, but I always thought "He would never talk to me like that."

As time went by, his parents told me he was bipolar and he was on a lot of meds. He would be up all night and sleep all day. I was stupid not to understand. I was blinded by falling in love. We were 18 when we met. He stopped taking his meds.

His parents moved to FLA and we were in Maine. I felt I could never leave. After the birth of our first child he talked me into it. His dad got diagnosed with cancer, so he said we would move to help them. But once I got here, he just got worse and now its been 10 years.

I am alone, no friends, no family in FLA, living with him, his brother and his parents, and our three kids. I have no way to get to our money and no car and he says i can't work. He has started to hit me and grab my face, even while I was still in the hospital after having our son who is now 3 months old ...

His parents down-play him hitting me: "Oh you're exaggerating, or he just slapped your arms." And he won't talk to me about anything and if i try, he rages.

I dont know how to get free, and now I have a 7 year old and a 3 year old and a 3 month old. I have no way to support them on my own yet. He goes through my phone, takes it away, takes my laptop, checks the history, tells me he hates my family, and also threatens to kill himself in front of our kids.


Everything is my fault. He tried to tell me to abort my son. I could not, and it's my fault we have kids. He never wanted them but won't let me leave because he says he loves them, but would take back being with me and having kids, if he could.

I don't know what to do. Sorry if this is hard to read. I am rushing. Thank you to anyone who responds!

From the Couples Guide -

Kristy... you seem to have two things going on here: a mental health issue and an abuse issue.

If your husband won't follow the medication and therapy recommendations, there is not much you can do if his family will not help him.

But you can do something about the abuse problem: you need to make plans to get out. When someone shuts off a person's connections to the outside world in an attempt to control them, this is a major sign of abuse.

Here is the link to a directory of abuse shelters and help in Florida: www.usattorneylegalservices.com/women-shelters-florida.html.

They should be able to give you advice and help, and perhaps reconnect you with your family in Maine.