My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for 5. I should have known that he was going to be abusive in one way or another. Now he has never hit me but has thrown things at me many times. If I didn't have quick reflexes, I would have been hit a few times though. When he does not get his way is the times he is the worst. If he wants to buy something and I say can you wait til payday, he will go off. I get called names, told that I am worthless, and he should have never married me. Then he will just be angry the rest of the day. Silent treatment to me. Calling his whole family and putting me down. So just to get some peace in the household, I will go buy what he wanted. Then he is happy and nice to me again. I know I shouldn't give in but I just don't like the yelling. I know if I don't stop it now, it will get worse. On many occasions he has said that he wanted to slap me or hit me. And he says he only gets mad because of what I do, blah blah blah. It is the usual abuser excuses. Things that I studied in college. I love him will all my heart but I do not love him enough to die because of him. And that may never happen. But I need to stop things before they get to that point. I honestly do not think there is a way to fix my marriage. In reality, with all the love I have for him, I don't know if I even want to.
Why in the world do you think you are stuck? Send that little whiner back home to his mother. Obviously she is the reason why he cries when he wants something, like a baby. How do you deal with that? And your reflexes are not going to be so swift one day, and you are going to be hurt very badly.
Ask yourself "what do I have to lose?" Do your good times outweigh the bad? We are not supposed to live a negative unhealthy life. It is not at all healthy.
As for me, I throw back, probably why my spouse left me. But I am fine, never looked back
Jul 31, 2010
wake up by: Anonymous
I will promise you one thing, it will not get any better. Men who start out abusing you will continue to get worse. I know this because I was married to one for 23 years. I will pray for you, and hope you will see you do not deserve any of this.
May 20, 2010
Fixing Him vs. the Marriage by: Gene
When someone is abusing you, he needs to stop doing so, and get some individual help before any work can be done on the marriage. You may feel it's your responsibility to fix things, but the abuse has to stop, and you can only do so much.
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