Toxic Relationship?

by Fysher girl
(Wisconsin)

I met my boyfriend at work about 7 years ago. We were both in relationships and were just friends for a while. But then we ended up starting to feel a lot more for each other and couldn't deny the chemistry.

It was a bumpy road in the beginning because we both had loose ends to tie up. But we managed to keep each other close. I should have realized from the very beginning tho that he was a controlling person. He used my emotions from the very start to bring me up and put me down. I've never been this vulnerable woman that I am today. I never took any crap from anyone in previous relationships. At the first sign of distress, I was gone. But this time it was different. I couldn't imagine myself without him regardless of the strife I had been through loving him.

Let me add that when our relationship is good, it's REALLY good. We have passion that I never knew possible. We share a lot of interests and do so much together. He really has made me the happiest I've ever been.........And the most miserable I have ever been.

Unfortunately, these days the bad definitely outshines the good. I won't go into too much detail, but it is a constant struggle to get anything positive from him anymore. And now I am the most angry, bitter person because of where my life is.

He has the worst temper and has caused so many brutal fights because he can't control himself, which in turn makes me aggressive like I've never been before. We fight (YELL) on a regular basis, and it is this reason that he brings out the worst in me everyday.

His sister made the comment last night that our relationship was "toxic" because she has witnessed many many of our fights. It was a real eye opener. I've never viewed it as such but she was absolutely right.

I need help. I wish I could just walk away from this but it is the strongest love that I have ever known.

How do I do it?? How do I determine if it is worth fighting for? I don't know if I have any fight left in me.