It took me a while to become a good marriage counselor. I’ve
always loved working with couples, and have specialized in this work for over a
decade. Even in their worst moments, couples bring energy and hope into the
session. Its sometimes sad, but it’s never boring.
So I've worked hard to become a good marriage counselor. But even after all the post-graduate trainings and seminars on marriage therapy, it seemed like there were a lot of couples that couldn’t be helped.
At first, I figured it must be my lack of skill, or maybe it was the couple's fault (always blame the messenger!). But as I looked at the national success rates for marriage counseling, I realized most therapists weren’t doing any better than I was.
Then I came across the work of John Gottman in Seattle, Washington. Gottman had actually been studying couples in his “Love Lab.” He filmed them talking and fighting, measured pulse and breathing rates, and took blood samples to measure neurochemicals that are produced under stress. He got to the point that he could predict which couples would stay married with an accuracy of 94%.
Gottman found four factors he called the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that could lead to the destruction of a marriage: Contempt, Defensiveness, Criticism, and Stonewalling. And he came up with four antidotes to these marriage poisons: Complaint instead of Criticism. Taking Responsibility instead of Defensiveness. Appreciation instead of Contempt. Self-soothing instead of Stonewalling. And he built a couples therapy method on that.
I’ve been using the Gottman Method now for a few years, and it is the most effective marriage therapy system I know.
Let me help you assess what’s wrong and what’s right in your relationship, give you some useful marriage strategies and tools, and a safe place to work out your problems.
Save your marriage. Call
today for a free telephone consultation,
and to schedule an appointment.
Day and evening hours are available.
You can also fill out the form below
and I will contact you.
My office is located at:
418 Stump Rd., Suite 204
Montgomeryville, PA 18936
Eugene Kayser at 215-813-8633
for Couples Counseling
in Montgomery and Bucks Counties
Gene Kayser LMFT uses the Gottman Method Couples Therapy with his clients, which is based on 40 years of research & treatment.
This is a "nuts and bolts" approach using proven techniques & strategies for couples who want to save their relationship.
For insight into this therapy, click on the video below to hear John Gottman on
What We Really Fight Over in Marriage.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."
Rita and Mark