Affair resulted in a child

by Tina
(Ohio)

My husband had an affair and the affair partner had a baby the end of March. The AP waiting until she was 7 months to tell my husband. We were doing to good with working on our marriage. When he told me she was pregnant and became pregnant when I thought the affair was over with,, I lost it and kicked him out. Told him to go be with her. He tells me he wants us and not her.

We got back together knowing this was going to be extremely difficult. With Covid19 and some other health issues the baby isn't able to leave the mother's home. In order for my husband to see the child, he has to go to her house. For the last 3 weeks, there is some reason the mother has been away from home, so my husband has been going over and spending the night with the child. He is barely home for minutes if at all. I am home alone all day long doing everything by myself.

I have expressed my feelings and asked him to find a balance where he could still spend some time with me. He takes everything and twists it and says I am asking him to make a choice and I am not. Every time he has brought up not being involved with the baby, I tell him what a mistake it would be to do that.

I am at my breaking point with him spending the night at the AP house, even though he says she isn't there. How do I save my marriage and sanity until the time that custody and visitation are established? I am struggling with this badly. Also...the AP doesn't know that he is back with me.