Looking for a good marriage counselor?
Make an appointment now with
Eugene Kayser LMFT
You know something is wrong in your relationship. You're fighting all the time. Sometimes viciously, calling each other names. Something about your spouse has changed. You are not emotionally and physically intimate with each other. But you don't know what to do.
Let me help you assess what’s wrong and what’s right in your relationship with an online evaluation by the Gottman Institute, based on their 40 years of research. Then we can give you some useful marriage strategies and tools, and a safe place to work out your problems.
I've worked hard to become a good marriage counselor. But after years of post-graduate trainings and seminars on marriage therapy, it seemed like there were a lot of couples that couldn’t be helped. So I kept looking.
Then I came across the work of Dr. John Gottman, and I’ve been using the Gottman Method Couples Therapy now for a few years. It is the most effective marriage therapy system I know, and it's research-based.
Dr. Gottman spent 40 years studying couples in his “Love Lab” in Seattle. He filmed them talking and fighting, measured pulse and breathing rates, and took blood samples to measure neurochemicals that are produced under stress. He got to the point that he could predict which couples would stay married with an accuracy of 94%.
Out of all this research, he and Julie Gottman developed a therapy system that starts with a thorough assessment to see where a couple's strengths and weaknesses are, and a toolkit of techniques that can change how you interact with each other.
Gottman found four factors couples had that could lead to the destruction of a marriage if they are not corrected. He called them
The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:
Contempt, Defensiveness, Criticism, and Stonewalling.
And he came up with four antidotes to these marriage poisons:
Complaint instead of Criticism, which is a hurtful attack on the very character and personality of the other person. And you can identify it because it will begin the sentence with the word "YOU". Try to speak from an "I" position.
Appreciation instead of Contempt, which often accompanies criticism with yelling, cursing, sneering and a frightening tone of voice. Try to find positive traits in your partner.
Taking Responsibility instead of Defensiveness, which is denying things that are said and turning them back on to the listener. Instead, admit to complaints that are actually true.
Self-soothing instead of Stonewalling, which is refusing to accept the reality of an issue, and saying "nothing to see here". Find a way, such as Mindful Meditation, to calm your mind and body.
Gottman built a successful couples therapy method that detoxifies these poisons, and let's you reconnect.
Let me help you stay married
and improve your relationship.
today for a free telephone consultation,
and to schedule an appointment.
Day and evening hours are available.
You can also fill out the form below
and I will contact you.
My office is located at:
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist
418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936
Gene Kayser uses the Gottman Method Couples Therapy system with his clients, with it's proven techniques & strategies for couples who want to save their relationship. This is a "nuts and bolts" approach based on 40 years of research & treatment.
For insight into this therapy, click on the video below to hear Dr. John Gottman on What Make Marriage Work
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If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."
Rita and Mark