Am I doing the right thing
by Darren G
I have 3 children under 3 and under with my wife. I have been 100% faithful, but my wife had a fling on her hen do, an actually went to meet, stay over night 2 days before we got married.
I found a text on her phone, 30 mins after the speeches. I sucked it up and didn't put on a show. Went on our honeymoon the next day and broke down the moment I got into the hotel room. We spent 2 weeks doing the whys and wherefores. I decided to move out when we got back, took us 2 months to work shit out and we decided to give it another go.
5 years, 3 kids and 2 mortgages later I get a message from a random women telling me, my wife was having an affair with her husband.... I felt physically sick, numb in fact. She pleaded innocence. She actually paid 600 quid for a private lie detector to prove it. Turns out she didn't have any sexually contact other than swapping pictures. However she had agreed to meet the following week, when I was away with work.
Not going to bore you with anymore detail, but I love my kids and I don't want to live without them, but we're now 9 months on and i've been using drugs to numb my pain, it's not a problem, but it's getting more frequent. Without any doubt, this hasn't effected my kids,
Yet.... But I just don't know what to do next, I'm embarrassed to tell anyone, everyone called me a fool for taking her back the first time.... I feel so isolated, she is doing all she can to prove she regrets what she's done. But I don't care anymore.... I just want to get out, but how do I leave the kids behind.... My dad left when I was 13, I don't want to do that to mine....
I suppose what I'm asking, am I doing the right thing? Am if I'm not what do I do? I'm lost
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist