Am I Wrong... Seeking Clarity on relation with Husband
It is true when they say that clarity is best sought when you see things from outside .. and hence I need your advice and solution.
I have been married for 14 years, we are basically from India. I was a working professional there and then quit my job to join my husband who had relocated to US. My husband supported me in pursuing my career and as a result I'm into a Ph.D program here. While I live in different city, my husband has been taking care of our children.
However, the distance has created a rift. My partner is too (probably obsessed)with our children. He still co-sleeps with them though they are already 11 years.
I can visit home only once or twice in a year and even when I'm home, the pattern continues, where he is spending all the time with the children and even sleeps with them.
I tried raising this issue with him on multiple occasions, even to the point where I blatantly told him that im falling into depression because of lack of companionship. He doesn't understand and says that he cannot change things just because I'm home. I have turned too bitter, I had left my job, my friends back home. Even when im in school, I don't have much friends (age difference and cultural difference) and when im home, I still sleep alone or with kids.
Everyone from family says, I'm lucky to have such a partner who lets me study while he is taking care of our children. My point is : but what about me?
Even this time, I came home after 7 months and it has been a month and not a single time he has slept with me or given exclusive time to me
Please tell me am I wrong in complaining? what should I do? I know he is a good father and kids need him and this has prevented me from taking things too far
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist