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BAD EXPERIANCE WITH TEXT BOOK COUNSELING

by daz
(melbourne)

I went to counseling with with my wife because it was becoming so bad, and we had a son that I was worried would be affected by us. I was told by her family that they tried getting her to get help but like always it just set her off. so it was my turn.


we walked in, sat down and began explaining what was going on. When I had a chance to talk, I explained the things that, to me, were unethical and just pure evil. I would say that EVERYTIME I went somewhere I would receive no less than 30 abusive phone calls, and she would take all my money out of the bank the counselor sat there and said but that's how she felt. Ok... I went on and said I got home from a breakup day at work and all my clothes were at the front. again she said but that's how she felt... ok. I then said that she would break and smash my belongings for just having a beer at a mates, yep same reply.

Well by this stage I was at wits end, so I told her that one night, same as always I went for a beer, (by the way i'm a tradie, work hard and would have a beer on a Thursday night with a mate) and the same old abuse. so I told her to get out if she don't like it. I went home about 11 pm and all was quiet. my mate texts me "are you ok, did she leave?".

Because I had to work I just layed down on the couch and tried to sleep, I heard her messing around in the kitchen, then whack! She started screaming out my son's name and threw my phone at me, hitting me in the head. I jumped up saying shh shhh dont wake the kids, but she got worse waking my two kids up.

I was in shock, didn't no what to do. Then my eldest son, not quite knowing what was going on, called the police. my youngest was hysterical so I went in and sat with him, cuddling and calming him down. all this time she was still going off.

When the cops got there they asked me to leave. she was going off, and all I could think about was my kids and I get asked to leave. still breaks my heart today. While I was telling the counselor this, my wife just sat there, legs crossed, lips pressed together, shaking her head grrrrrr. Yep guess what the counselor said? "THATS HOW SHE FELT"

I could not believe it. she said I was wrong for having a beer ONCE a week but my wife was right to act like this. Well I wigged out and said, are you hearing what i.m saying? I told her that she has it in for men, and a few other things and stormed out. I then received a phone call from her saying she might take my kids from me. well did I go off. I told her i'm the best thing for my kids and that if she EVER tried to do that, I would hunt her down and skin her like the PIG that she is. not very nice but god I was wild. You know what, never heard from her again.

Next story... my eldest son was a hand-full, very smart but trouble. we were told he is a gifted kid and needs to go to a Montessori pre-school, for 12,000 a term. forget about it. so we got a child psychologist to come out. She told us to put him in his room when he is bad. I said we do but he just walks out. she said lock his door which we did, but he would jump out his window. PUT BARS ON HIS WINDOW, she said..... I asked her if she had kids? not my business she said. I told her that because she has read it in a text book that makes her an expert in children? just like most counselors, I believe treat everyone the same and all their answers are out of a text book.

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"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
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Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network