Been making it work for 13 years

by Guy

So today was the latest in the on and off fights my wife has. She is a medical professional and had herself admitted to hospital for a non-serious issue but wanted her blood tests paid for by the insurance. I dropped her off, stayed with her, until put into the ward, her family pitched up, so she said as I had work I could go. OK.

Off I went. Called multiple times, she kept cutting the call, finally got a hold of her to say Hi and for the kids to chat. Got them to bed. In the am, I got up, got the kids their breakfast, was about to shower, and she messaged I could collect her. This is where it got rude, as I hadn't asked how she was in the morning. I explained that I had got the kids fed, was going to shower, and then call but didn't want to wake her.

Got home, I am a bad hubby for the majority of my marriage, a narcissist, and only recently I have changed. Its been on and off like this for years, and she doesn't accept all the hugs and kisses she gets, this is only during the good times, but not during hospital visits, or the fact that I am trying damn hard to keep a roof over our heads, and get the majority of the bills paid. Supposedly only seeing her and the kids on weekends, and from 18H00 every evening after work is bad form on my part. I have no friends I see much anymore, its work, my kids and wife, gym and work.

I asked what is it she wants, and I don't get a straight answer, she said she would leave me, but was asked, if she could cope with the work as the kids are young, so decided not to. I could go on and on, but wow I'm tired.

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Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network