break up of 11 years
by tiffany lynn
i am 31 and my so-called ex is 41. we broke up in august but we have been together for 11 years. after he left me, we still talked every day. and now i went to visit him and it went ok but felt different when i was there with him. but he told me we are going to work this out and we will be ok. when i left him i tried calling him for two days now, and he don't answer my calls. he lives in NY and i am in Ohio.
i was always living with him for 11 years and now we are far away. i feel like i don't know how to stop calling him or thinking about him. i don't even know if he is serious about us being together. he seems to say he has female friends there in new york, but he does not do any thing with them. but i am confused.
i am wondering if me and him is really together or should i keep trying with him, thinking we had a lot of problems within our 11 years, and i know i love him. and he is my first serious relationship. or do i just give up. i try so hard to prove to him i can be the best thing for him, but he says when i make my self better in life, buy houses and cars and things, and he sees i have things in life, then he don't mind being with me
he is from Jamaica and i am from Ohio. he doesn't work and can't work when he is illegal over here. he just does side jobs for people. he says when he sees i can be successful from college and then he sees i am in a position to have money and things, then he will let me live with him again.
the point is i am constantly letting him distract my every day living. i always think about him. should i try to keep him or let him just go. or should i throw 11 years away when he says he loves me but he isn't ready for me to move back till i have a better job. i just don't know what to do with this man. Dear Tiffany.... What you need to do is to stay as far away from this guy as you can. Even Ohio may not be far enough. While you're trying to better yourself in college, he is laying around NY with his girlfriends, waiting for you to be financially successful enough to buy him cars and stuff. Let him go.
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist