Brother inlaw moved in

by Kayla
(Iowa)

My brother in-law came over 2 months ago to take a shower because he was basically homeless, then he never left. The day he came over for what I had thought was for a shower 2 months ago was something more. my husband went and picked him up to bring him over to use our shower but I guess on the car ride back home witch was like a 5 minute ride they both decided he was going to stay with us for what I thought was a week. my husband told him he could stay in our laundry room since it's a pretty big room as my 4 kids had the other 2 rooms but I thought to be nice and to just move my 2 youngest out of there room into our room for the week and my husbands brother could just take their room since it was only a week well that same night my husband and his brother's dad was a victim to suicide and my husband and I felt obligated to let the brother stay with us for a little longer just until after the funeral services as he was suppose to move to Georgia with his nana and uncles.


the brother started a go-fund me to get the money for the trip down. he received well over 2000 and the funeral services came and went the brother ended up spending the money on drinking partying new clothes and going out to eat for himself and about 10 different girls. within a 2 week span the money was all gone and he was still here, still in what was now him bedroom. then the brother was happy with that bedroom and wanted an even bigger room so he could start having him kids come and stay with him on occasion as the other room wouldn't accommodate another bed for a child.so my husband and I had a hard decision to make and chose to move our daughter down to the smaller room and the brother to her big room only because he needs to father his kids more often.

that was a month ago. he hasn't even invited his kids over but tons of girls have come and
gone my daughter is stuck in a small room witch doesn't even fit all of her belongings and my husband and I share a room with 3 toddlers. I feel taken advantage of and my kids got their rooms what I feel like taken from them. my husband's brother now has the biggest room in the house and barely paying us anything to live in it as he does not have a job and won't go find one. I feel as if he's never going to move out and now I'm stuck feeling not at home in my home.

On top of it all the brother has messed around on my husbands ex girl friends in the past so now my husband is having night mares about me and his brother hooking up. my husband has now threatened to take my kids away from me his I was to cheat. not only that I am not allowed to shower unless my husband is home from work and most days he's too tired to watch the kids long enough for me to shower and our laundry room its also up across the hall from my brother in-laws room so I'm not allowed to do laundry when my brother in-law is home and he's always home since he doesn't have a job. laundry doesn't get done and either does my self grooming and showering

I feel over whelmed with mixed emotions I want to help brother in-law out but at the same time it's causing us tons of problems. Every time I bring it up to my husband he promises he's going to talk to his brother and tell him he needs to man up get a job and get his own place but my husband never talks to him because he says he knows what it's going to come down to and he doesn't want to start a fight with his brother so my feelings showering and laundry get pushed to the side. my kids got forced into our room or into a too small of a room and I have to just be ok with it and to me.

I think it's just not fair or maybe I'm just being selfish wanting my house back.

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Oct 15, 2019
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by: Your Couples Guide

You are not being unfair or selfish. This guy is a parasite who is sucking the life out of your marriage and family. Time to set boundaries. He needs to go.

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