Cleaning daughter-in-law and son's house

by Anonymous

My son and daughter-in-law live in a very dirty and disorganized house. The garage and outside are equally a mess. The situation was the same when they lived together before they were married and had no kids. They now have a 4 year old and 18 month old and my daughter-in-law's sister lives in their basement with several dogs. My daughter-in-law's sister and her mom who comes over almost daily don't help to clean.

My son and daughter-in-law have asked me on numerous occasions to help them clean and organize. What that really means is that I do all the cleaning and organizing. After their first child was born, I hired a housekeeper who spent all day cleaning the inside of the house. Recently, I paid someone to help with organization to no avail.

I make a point of never criticizing. I have cleaned and tried organizing their house many times, but I fail to see that my efforts are maintained. How do I gracefully decline?

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.

Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network