Confused...need advice

by Ken
(USA)

Hello, I've been divorced for about 5 years. Met a woman and we've been dating for a little over a year. We are in love and talking about marriage.

But...I was made aware of something that has bothered me and I am conflicted as to how I should handle this. A week ago I was updating her phone and there was a text thread between her and another guy that took place at about 2 in the morning. We do not live together (she has young kids) and I was at my home. There were no pictures exchanged but it was a long back and forth about sexual acts with each other - very descriptive and lurid- like I was reading a text from a porn (I don't think I can even say what it was on this forum.) I was mortified. Needless to say I lost my cool and confronted her.

We had gotten into a little argument the night that she texted him and that was the start of the discussion. She told me that she had taken an Ambian and didn't even remember doing it. This guy lives in another state. They were friends when he lived here as far as I know and they never had a relationship. I ended the relationship right then. However, she texted him later and apologized to him that she made a mistake, etc. She sent me screenshots as proof I guess. She continued to reach out to me, apologizing profusely and asking for me to forgive her and get back together. After I cooled off, we talked and we got back together (love is forgiving I guess)

My problem is that I cannot get past it. When I'm with her I just keep thinking about it. Why would she do this? Why him? That sort of thing - and of course the actual content of the texts. I'm just not sure if I can get past it. Was I fool to even get back with her? Should I just walk away? Totally confused.

Thank you