Depression/anxiety suddenly taking away my joy and happiness

by Sarah
(United States Wisconsin )

Hi! I’m looking for help and insight into awful feelings I’ve been experiencing for almost a week.

I’ve been in a relationship with the same person for more than 18 years. And all of the sudden, it was like a switch in my brain was shut off. I became depressed and filled with anxiety within a matter of hours and I can’t shake these feelings. It feels like I’ve lost all my interest and feelings towards my boyfriend.

We have 3 kids ages together ages 18,12, and 8. He has 2 older children from a previous relationship.

We have had a lot happen to us in the past year. In September he had a heart attack(he was 38 years old when this happened). Then, in January, he had to get emergency surgery for appendicitis and finally, at the end of February, I had to get knee surgery for a torn ACL.

As I try to make sense of my anxiety and depression, I tell myself that it’s not the relationship that’s causing me to feel this, it’s all the other circumstances surrounding it.

I have been off of work for basically almost 2 months and off my “regular” routine, I was on Vicodin until 2 weeks ago and not taking those anymore. My niece was in a bad car accident less than two weeks ago. I have my sister staying here with me and she’s over stayed her welcome, plus one of his older daughters came to stay with us and she has her baby. On top of all of this, we are trying to find a new place and have been so far unsuccessful.

Somewhere in all of this, I’ve become depressed and anxious and I just keep thinking I’m losing feelings for him. I have a hard time finding joy in things that I used to be excited about, like my daughter graduating in June, the upcoming warmer weather and a long list of other things that made me happy or filled with joy to think about.

I don’t want to “lose” my feelings or end my relationship! I’m looking for help and insight from anyone who has been through something like this and how did it work out or what can I do to try and stop my self from having this anxious, depressed feeling.