Doesnt know if she's still in love.advice!

by Adam m.
(England)

Married with one child and another from her previous relationship.


Our sex life has suffered for years, we had money problems but always stayed together. I was feeling very low and insecure due to the lack of intimacy, I became over weight and generally moody. Recently we had a big blow out after I expressed a concern about our relationship and also asked for her support with my weight loss. She says she is not sure if she still loves me and doesn't know what to do.
She said she has felt unloved and unappreciated for months if not years and essentially everything I do irritates her immensely and she dreads the thought of me having a day off work.

Of course I have my reasoning, shes always taken control of the household and I used to offer help and support but after years of trying I stopped. I still clean, vac, pick kids up and things like that but there is a lot I never did for fear of getting it wrong.

I have come to the realization that I have taken her for granted and actually my reasons aren't just even if understandable. I love my wife and want nothing but to make it work, but what action do I take???. Ive stared doing all the things that I didn't including working out daily and completely changing my diet. but now it seems forced but in my opinion I have just had an epiphany-like moment. we no longer talk during the day, we no longer kiss before the other leaves the house, What do I do?

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist

418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936

215-813-8633

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.


"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network