Now Offering Online & Office Counseling With Proof of Vaccination

Domestic Violence after 20 years

by Nik
(Florida)

My husband and I have been for the most part happily married for 20 years. Never been physical with each other although we have had our share of other marital issues. On Sunday after an event with friends and drinks an argument broke out in the car. It escalated quickly with screaming and then slapping and tussling. We pulled over and it quickly turned deadly. He choked me until I saw stars and then threw me out on the concrete once I was able to get his hands from around my neck.

My question although extreme it was the first physical altercation we've ever had. Is there any hope for my marriage?

Comments for Domestic Violence after 20 years

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 26, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Lack of history
by: Anonymous

It is hard to make a comment or give advice on what little history has been provided in this statement. First and foremost understanding that this is not normal behavior and wondering if your marriage is okay shouldn’t be the question you are asking on a website. You are going to need to document this and keep a behavior journal . Have you had any conversations after the argument and violence that has happened between both of you. Obviously there was some underlying reason for the drastic behavior change. I am suggesting you have a meeting your your husband and see what caused the situation to become out of control on both your parts. What could have been different? What is going on with your husband is there new medication he is taking? Maybe alcohol is a issue ? If there is no logical reason for the sudden drastic behavior change then I recommend seeing a medical doctor right away. I believe you should also join your husband at the doctor this is a serious issue that should not be ignored. The police are not always going to solve the underlying issues they are there for your safety and to maintain peace in that moment and engage in enforcement of laws that are broken. I suggest getting to the root of the issue now and should not let this go on ever again. I hope for your sake you will be okay. Please contact a Medical Doctor and a Psychiatrist . I also encourage you to start a abuse journal. This will provide evidence if you need to have this in court for legal purposes. Dates times everything. If you are planning to leave. It is important that you prepare a safe place to reside in the event this continues and in most cases it usually does. If you are alone and have no where to go. Please contact the Domestic abuse Hotline in your area. Your future honestly is in your own hands. It’s up to you to decide.

Apr 02, 2019
Rating
starstarstarstarstar

by: The Couples Guide

Nobody should be in a relationship where they can be hurt, physically or emotionally. You should warn him that if this ever happens again, you will go to the police. And I definitely recommend counseling.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.


"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network