Don’t know whether I should continue to fight for my marriage.
My husband and I have been together for almost 3 years and married for 1 year. We have a 18 month old together and we both have several kids from previous relationships.
There has been infidelity on my husbands part from Day 1 in the relationship. He would do disappearing acts during my pregnancies for days at a time. And would never have a valid excuse of where he was. He would try to use his kids as a reason why he’s gone, but I found out later down the line. That he wasn’t even with his children. So I don’t even trust that excuse anymore.
There have been multiple females that have popped up out the blue and he always has some idiotic excuse of why he’s talking to them. Once our baby was born, he seemed to do a complete 180, and we were doing well for a while, so we got married. I feel like I made a huge mistake. I week after our 1 year anniversary, I found out he was dealing with two different girls. One is an ex- girlfriend that I had a feeling about because they popped up as Facebook friends. And another is one that I found out about through Facebook messages of him asking her for oral sex and they met up , although he adamantly denies anything happened. He took the ex girlfriend to the beach Valentines Day weekend this year, while I was home with the baby. Again, he adamantly denies that anything sexual happened. He took her to “look for a job”. *Rolls eyes*
It’s been 4 months since I found
all this out, AGAIN. And I’m just at the point where I’m over the marriage. I feel like once he cheated, AFTER we were married, that was blatant disrespect . He gets upset whenever I bring it up, and says , I need to leave it alone because we’re trying to move on. When honestly, I still feel in the same spot as I did when I found all this out. I’m still angry, hurt, pissed off and everything else. I just choose not to bring it up because I don’t want to argue and I guess he thinks I’m over it because I don’t talk about it anymore. When really, I’m starting to resent him, I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him, and I feel like this marriage is a sham. I’m ready to walk away, but I don’t want to feel like I just gave up, especially being that we have been married such a short time. Honest opinions please.
Side note : These issues are on top of a lot of other things, such as unwillingness to pay bills unless I hound him about it.
He’s very secretive with his phone. I found out his Facebook password and he got angry with me and changed it. I’ve caught him several times in the past few weeks talking to another ex, but he claims its only about his son ( which is NOT her child).
He is not affectionate or loving anymore ( which he says is just his character) , be he used to be.
He’s very defensive whenever I try to bring any of this up.
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist