Ego and misunderstanding

by Anonymous

I have been married for almost two years. And the time with my wife has been rough as we have our differences like any other couple. I have made a few mistakes (like left over pictures of ex girl friends, letters etc being recovered from storage which i havent been particular about cleaning ) along the way for which i have categorically apologised to her hundreds of times. However she says that she hasn’t done anything wrong at all in these two years so doesn’t need to apologise for anything at all.


I contribute single handedly to the house expenses and she used to take care of veggies and kitchen stores. To which her family objected and asked me for my bank statements, which i showed . I have never asked her for her Salary details or where she is spending it, however her father has insisted on multiple occasions that I keep her informed about how I’m running my expenses .

Recently when we got into an argument she started publically humiliating me on Instagram and WhatsApp in front of my friends and family. To this incident which lasted almost 2 months she says it was a reaction to me chatting with one of my school friend. (I instantly acknowledged this too that the language that i used over messages with a single friend is unacceptable and
won’t be repeated, infact I begged her to stay but she continued to leave the house only to return after two months).

In this time I visited her house in presence of her parents where her parents obviously took her side and things got heated up and while I was putting forth my points in the argument her parents verbally abused me and the mother slapped me in front of the whole family.

After this incident I have developed so much hatred for her family that u have told her that I will accept no interference from them at all. And I have just gone to become more n more bitter over time. After this also she feels that she hasn’t done anything incorrect and my hatred for her family is unreasonable and she refuses to apologise for publically humiliating my parents in WhatsApp and Instagram. She insists that she is right and I’m unfair in my judgement.


I believe it’s her ego that she feels she hasn’t done anything wrong at all with heavy interference from her family. Without taking a share of house expenses and constant mediation with her father has now led me to take the whole expenditure and start keeping a tab. I’m becoming more bitter by the day and she seems to have her own biases and is not cooperative at all.
Please advise

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Apr 28, 2025
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by: Eugene Kayser LMFT

This is about more than ego. This is about a wife and family that are at war with you. Marriages work when there is an equal partnership in a couple. And that is not only about money, but about the couple presenting a unified front to the world. Partners need to form a new family and create boundaries.

It sounds like you both need to sit down with a marriage therapist and decide whether you want to stay together, and how to do this if that is your choice. Take a look at the Gottman Referral Network where you can find someone in your area.

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Eugene Kayser Marriage Therapist

Gene Kayser uses the Gottman Method Couples Therapy system with it's proven techniques & strategies for couples who want to save their relationship. This is a "nuts and bolts" approach based on 40 years of research & treatment.

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"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
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