Elderly couple with differing sex drives

by Nicole
(Michigan USA)

My husband & I were high school sweet-hearts & have been married 45 years.There have been ups & downs but he's the only man I love & have had sex with. Lately,I always have to initiate sex.I'd like him to initiate sex more,but perhaps that's something I can't change(?) He's always had a low sex drive but lately won't make the effort to initiate sex at all. I'm lucky that he tells me he loves me every day & would do anything in his power for me.He seems to still enjoy my company.We're both mid 60's & obese.He's had multiple surgeries for joints damaged by arthritis.The times we do make love we both really enjoy it,with the help of Viagra.Makes me really sad he doesn't seem to need/desire sex with me.Help!

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist

418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936


If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.

Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.

"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network