Feel so unloved and undesired effects my selfesteem

by Jenny

I'm 48, been married for 3 years this may.

Married to a farmer, small hold family business.
Live in middle of nowhere.
Not working much, at moment.
But husband needs me to find more work, as my income is supposed to finance good everything else.
I can't drive.
Husband isn't very demonstrative.
Doesn't feel like he has ever been in tune with me.
Apart from when we first dated.
He rarely initiates, any form of touch, or sex.
He doesn't kiss me , passionately, not since we first were married.
He only touches me intimately, during sex..
Which I initiate.
He initiates if he wants cuddles.
But not much else.
I feel so ugly, I see him look at other women, much younger.
I feel so unattractive.
I don't want to walk away from this marriage, I've invested money in his parent's farm.
I've tried talking lots of times.
I realize he communicates in a different way

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