Feeling like I'm nothing short of trapped...
by Brittney
(Missouri)
I have been married for almost 3 years. My husband is in the military and recently got home from a deployment. While he was deployed, I gave birth to our daughter, who is now 15 months old.
I am unhappy in our marriage and I believe he is too. I was diagnosed with depression a few months ago and thought that I would feel differently once on my medicine, figuring that those feelings were due to the depression. My feelings haven't changed at all. I recently reconnected with a close friend who has promised to take my daughter and I in if I finally decide to leave but I am terrified to go.
He's never hit me or been verbally abusive, we just aren't compatible. The thing is, I'm only 20 years old. We got married when I was 17 and still in high school. I know, most people will say that I was just dumb and a kid, but it felt like a wise move at the time. I have not only had a child, I have graduated college and now work full time to help support my little family.
I think the reason I am so scared to actually leave is because I don't know anything else of "real world love". He's been every thing to me for basically the last 4 years. I do love him, but no longer as a husband. I am also scared that I will lose my daughter. I have spoken to my husband about these feelings and he refuses to talk about them.
I guess I just need some sort of advice as far as what I should do, or what my next step should be.