Feels like I am being emotionally bullied by wife

by Louis
(Sout Africa)

Hi, my wife and I have been married now for 6 years. She has some emotional or perhaps mental issues bordering on bipolar. I sort of knew this before we got married and thought that I would be able to help and make her a better person.

Our sex live during our dating phase and early marriage was phenomenal to say the very least. Then about two years back she had to have a complete hysterectomy. She was placed on hormonal therapy supplements to aid for the loss of natural hormones.

Our sex lives have crashed. She is never interested in sex anymore and shows me no love or affection. She always complains that she is tired or has a headache or makes up some sort of other excuse. But then she always has strength and energy to go shopping, or to the gym or to go and play golf. We have pets and she showers them with attention and affection.

Further to this she does not have to work, something which we agreed upon together as she is a hairdresser and at 50 she does not want to stand on her feet the whole day. Now she is complaining that she is depressed because she feels worthless for not having a job. When I try to talk to her she get angry and starts screaming and crying and would at times even attack me physically.

I still love her and don't really want to divorce her but I cannot see myself continuing like this for much longer. This both our second marriage and we both have a son and daughter from our first marriages who are all out of the house now. Her kids are priority to her and she jumps at any of their slightest silly requests but I must beg her to show me some of the same love and affection that I give her not to mention asking her to initiate making love to me.

I'm confused and hurt as talking to her seems useless now as I know that she would start yelling and crying and putting the blame on her emotional and mental issues. Please some concrete and logical advise would be appreciated

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.

Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network