Finding wife unattractive
HI,I just turned 26 and got married 5 months ago (we dated for 4 years). All of a sudden three months ago, I started noticing that my amazing wife who I freakin love and thought was my angel. Has imperfections. I noticed that she has chubby cheeks which are completely genetic ( her body is thin) and I noticed she has a soft jawline. Now I can’t stop noticing. I am literally collapsing and nervous and frantic because I am so scared that this feeling will never go away and that I will have to get a divorce.
I love my wife more than anything. I had slight doubts about her cheeks before about two years ago (I panicked for 3 weeks and it went away). This time it isn’t going away. I am over analyzing everything and Quite frankly I can not Stop. She is my best friend and I love her so much. All I want is to get over This.
I can’t take it. I feel like such garbage too Because she is an absolute angel. I have no idea what happened to me. I used to think she was so cute and now. All I’m doing is emphasizing her imperfections. I keep noticing that other girls have thin faces etc and it’s just a constant struggle. I have so much anxiety guilt and shame I’m so unhappy. All I want is to be able to forget this whole thing happened and go back to how we were before where I wasn’t analyzing.
Can someone please give me advice please. Am I allowed to find my spouse unattractive sometimes? Am I allowed to just let it go and move on or am I hopeless . The sad part is I’ve always thought she was so pretty. Now I’m noticing these cheeks/jawlines which i guess I’ve always subconsciously ignored. And now it’s just all I think about. I see them And go ohh well she isn’t pretty then etc . I’m sabotaging myself .I’m so confused and feel so hopeless. Please advise me if anyone has felt like this . Thank you. And yes I know I’m being shallow! And I know I don’t deserve my wife.
Just so scared what if it never goes away. What if I get over it and it goes back. I’m ruining my life and I’m gonna ruin hers. It’s just awful it’s truly awful.
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Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist
418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936