Girlfriend can't think about a relationship right now
by Daniel C.
Ok I really just want to know a few people's outside point of view....this is a fairly long story to explain so please try and stay with me. I will start from the beginning.......
A year and a bit a go, i met this lovely girl in a bar.....I actually left her my number and she txt me.
We went on a few dates but she told me back then she had literally just broken up with her ex....she still had to get all her stuff from his....anyway on our last date back then, I could tell she was feeling off...a couple days later she explained she wasn't reassure to start anything up....she's still got to deal with her ex....I replied that I understood....I didn't want to be a rebound..
Over the next 9 months we spoke through txt now and again, just general like hey how are you, and after the new year we were on about meeting up for lunch if a drink....we were both pretty busy so it didn't happen for a while.....when we did end up meeting, it was like we never stopped seeing each other....so close and it was an instant click.....over the next few months we went on some amazing dates....great meals....drunk now and again....one evening I planned the perfect evening.....we started off on the London eye for the champagne experience and i also brought up some chocolate covered strawberries......someone actually proposed up the top.....anyway after that I took her for a lovely dinner and wine on a boat on the Thames....then we had cocktails in the oxo tower and went to a club after.
During this night she tagged me on her fcbk and her ex made a comment saying pathetic!
The next few weeks after that we just had normal dates, cinema etc, night in them it was her birthday so I had a big birthday surprise set out for her.....she loves sharks so I paid to have her snorkeling with sharks in the London aquarium. then I gave her some little gifts, like a
trophy saying her name, then trophy girl....chocolate plaque saying happy birthday, champagne,a voucher for her favourite clothes shop, some gym trainers she picked out and a DVD player for her living room for her and her girls.
Again after that we went back to normal little dates....our last date was i took her to see dirty dancing and we had a meal and a few drinks then to hers.
It was an amazing night!
During the meal she opened up to me and told me some past issues, like her dad cheating on her mum, her ex's were really bad to her, her brother dies of alcohol etc, and said she's never told any boyfriend any of that before. then she said i've taken myself off the market.
The next morning we had out last cuddle and kiss at the front door and I went home.
On my way home I sent her a message saying hey babe, just a little message to say I'm glad you opened up to me last night.....I think you're such an amazing strong girl for getting as afar as you have knowing what you have been through.
I told her that when I'm with her it's like we are the only 2 people in the world, and I intend to keep hold of her, then i said Have a great day.....
For the next couple of days she was weird and didn't reply to my messages, so I stopped messaging her as I knew she would tell me when she was ready.
She txt me a few days later saying that my message on that's riming after our last date freaked her out, and she's not sure about things.....she can't commit to me and she's not ready for a relationship....she said she's tried hard to jump steps and feel more, but she can't look past it...she said she loves spending time me but she's just not ready...
Her last message so far is that she's sorry....she can't think about a relationship right now she needs to be on her own.
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist