Horrid relationship. Having a hard time terminating mixed with wanting to fix it
I wasn't able to see others posts'....not sure how much to divulge. I'm in a really yukky relationship, almost 2 years, living together. I know I "should" end it. Sometimes he has acted invested and we try to use tools like the Conscious Loving workbook, or other stuff. I'm finding to create change is hard so it takes consistent work and tracking progress regularly. That's too much for him. For him I guess (I'm just realizing this) change is being introduced to new ideas, then out of sight out of mind. He doesn't stick to a method long (tried NVC first...still can't make I statement).
So I stay because when it's good it's good. But that's not enough anymore. I know the answer and just can't seem to draw the line. He's living in my place so it's him that would need to go (he pays rent, contributes, etc).
I raised my daughter alone for 18 years - she moved out and we don't have much of a relationship. It's been hard developing strong relationships with women, or when I do meet them sometimes I'm working so much I don't put the energy in. So I've got myself isolated.
My bf drives me nuts. I feel we're on two playing fields in terms of expectations in relationships. I expect decent communication. He says crap like "you make me feel...." and "your feeling so...." (whether I am or not...forget checking in). I realize he's blaming me a lot lately and I seem to have no recourse because there is no safety net in how we communicate with one another.
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Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist
418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936