Husband keeps comparing me physically to his ex-girlfriends?
(Buffalo, NY, United States)
My husband and I have been married eight months and together a total of eleven months. Since we've been together my husband has made a lot of comments that sound insulting regarding my appearance AND on top of that he constantly compares me physically to all of his exes.
Here are some examples of things he has said. "I want to get you pregnant so you can pick up some weight." "Oh it looks like your picking up weight you look more beautiful and sexier than before." "Why do your boobs look like that?" "Your boobs are going to look like this someday(holds them up while we're looking in the mirror in a totally different unnatural manner." " Your the smallest woman I've ever been with." "I see you have a few gaps in your teeth you should get braces." "Your the smallest woman I've ever seen." "Your boobs are very small and petite." Your breasts are very small compared to my exes but I like yours better." "My exes breasts were the size and shape of watermelons and they use to stuff my face in them."
He actually believes that all these are compliments and says I'm so beautiful and perfect for him and fully accepts the way I look. He talks like he's uncomfortable with the way I look but he's passionate and all over me? I've never had this issue with any other guy. I am 5ft 4 and 146 pounds and wear a 36D-cup. He acts like I'm some skeleton made of bones.
He's apologized over and over again and says everything he says is an accident but the issue is continuing even with him going to counseling. Everytime my appearance comes up his exes bodies come up it's inevitable. As a result I find myself stressed and depressed constantly trying to compare myself in my mind to these other women who I've never even seen before. I don't know if I can live like this any longer.
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Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist
418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936