Husband seeking advice from Women
Hi There, My name is William. I need advice about my Wife. Let me first that that I trust my Wife and know that she is a great person and mother to our two children. However, recent events have caused some concern and I'd like to put them in context.
My Wife's Ex (not the subject of my concern) recently appeared on the scene to attend his Father's funeral. He was all alone as his family was back overseas and he wanted to talk to someone neutral (not his family) that knew his Dad and vent his emotions. My Wife asked me directly if I was ok with them meeting for coffee on the day and I said yes. Why not, right? Long story short, they met and had a good catch-up and he's on the plane back home. No drama.
Until something weird happened. I bumped into a friend of mine who mentioned that he'd seen my Wife having coffee with another man and he wondered if my Wife had a brother (she doesn't). I immediately jumped to the conclusion that it was likely her Ex but through conversation I realized the dates were all wrong and this had been after the Ex had departed for Australia. Also, I know what my Wife's Ex looks like as she often shows me his posts of his kids and wife and the description of the man didn't match up.
I'm a bit ashamed of what I did next, but while my Wife was in the toilet, she had left her phone unlocked on FB (she's always on it) and I looked at the top conversation that was another guy. So I read the most recent posts and it came to light that this was the guy she had met for coffee. (My wife has never mentioned this guy nor meeting him for coffee). the conversation was brief but it showed that they were planning to meet again. My Wife suggested lunch and the reply from this guy was 'how about a happy meal at macdonalds' to which she replied 'depends on what toy it comes with lol' - nothing really more concrete was said but I'd seen enough. My heart just sank at that point.
I want to trust her but I feel like something is up. She's obviously omitted from telling me about meeting this guy for a reason and I can't help but feel that my marriage is in jeopardy. What do I do?
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist