Husband’s work colleague

by Anonymous

Earlier in the year, I found some disturbing texts in my husband’s phone.. the texts were from a single girl (same age as my husband and I.. we’re in our 30s) that he does business referrals with.

The first disturbing text was that my husband asked her to a basketball game b/c he had an extra ticket (he asked me first, but I was sick that night.. he also asked his brother and a guy friend, but they couldn’t go either).

The next disturbing text, which came a few weeks after the first one, was that this girl asked him if he likes vodka... and my husband told her yes he does. When I discovered these texts in his phone a few months later, of course I asked him about it. He said he asked her to the game based on their “business relationship” and nothing more. Right then and there I told him that I’m uncomfortable with him asking another woman out to an event and that was totally inappropriate. I also asked him about the vodka, and he says it was a gift to him b/c he helped her receive a client referral. He says she gives all of her colleagues alcoholic drinks as gifts. I also called the girl myself. In a polite and respectful manner, I asked her what was going on b/c I feel like their relationship is more than business. She basically said the same thing my husband said... so I respectfully told her to keep their relationship business only. I let it go and decided to move forward with a watchful eye.

Fast forward
to 3 months later, I see another disturbing text in my husband’s phone from this girl. It was actually a picture of a book entitled “the superior man: a spiritual guide to mastering the challenges of woman, work, and sexual desire”. I asked my husband about it, and he says that she recommended the book to him b/c she read it and thought he might like it. I’m thinking, why would this single girl send my husband a book like this? Well, about a month later, my husband calls me from work one day, and tells me that she came by his office sporadically and unannounced with a guy friend of hers. I said, “ok cool, maybe it was business related”. But he said “no, she came in to say hello and that she just purchased some food that went cold. She wanted to use my husband’s job microwave to warm the food. He says that she and her friend stayed at his job that day for about 20-30 min to eat and chit chat. At this point, I’m really distrustful and uncomfortable with the “friendship” that has developed between my husband and this woman that I don’t know and never meant.
What do you think about this situation?

Is it harmless or do you think this girl wants something more from my husband? I’m still weirded out and wondering why would she send him a book like that? And why would she do this, plus come by my husband’s job unannounced, after I talked with her politely over the phone and made it clear that they should keep their relationship business only?

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Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist

418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936


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