I am confused and unsure about a married female coworker intentions....

by Tom
(NYC)

Hi,


I am a happily married Man, 7 yrs. She is a married Female, 8 yrs. She has 2 children (1 about 6 mos ago) We are coworkers together, (although after her newborn and a few months rest, she recently began another office location about 20 miles away).

Prior to this, her and I worked in the same small office the past 2 years. We hit it off, and nothing untoward going on. In fact, I hadn't had much thoughts or anything of emotional attachment, and as far I know, nor she. Which is why I am typing. We were and are like work-husband/wife. I mean this in the way that I truly trust her and she trusts me.

I have suddenly seemed to develop feelings and I don't know why! We do text outside of work occasionally, about a TV show we both like and not much more. She is quite warm and friendly to everyone, a good person really, and this is where I am confused. We often get lunch, and I once read if it feels flirty, it is. She lives w her husband nearby, about 25 miles. She has mentioned and sent links to places in that area that are nice to live. It's a seaside area so that's innocent. She invited me to come out to see the area recently, and mentioned to come out when it's her day off so she can show me around I imagine. That is odd to me. BUT, I told her it was my wedding anniversary last week, and she told me to go out to a steakhouse we both know and her and her hubby would come.

I mean, it's not that I"M looking to leave my wife or even thinking about that, but I would like to know why I suddenly am thinking about her a lot, and I don't want to ruin a good friendship by thinking these things. I notice her always laughing and being interested in my stories but again, this may be just who she is. Please any advice I would be grateful!
Is she viewing me as a friend, or more?

Thank you

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.


Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network