I AM DATING A MARRIED MAN WHO CANNOT LIVE HIS KIDS
by JANE HERMOSA
Leaving the kids is really the hardest thing to do, My bf moved out from his home 3 months ago and told his wife he want separation, he has 4 kids, 13, 10, 6, 3, they are little, he thought he could handle being away from his kids , he tried it for 3 months just seeing his kids 2 times a week. His wife eventually realize that their relationship is over and ready to move on.
June 28 he sends his family home to uk and the initial agreement is they are not coming back to where he was now (i prefer not to name the country we are now). Me and him is dating for 8 months already, we don't live together even he moved out, we see each other every night after work for 1 or 2 hours then we spend weekend together.
2 days after he sent his family home he began to be emotionally weak, he started crying and he don't know what to do. I don't like to see him depressed. 2 nights after he sent his family home i take my guts and asked him what he is thinking. He told me he want his kids back and he cannot live without them, being away and not being able to see them for years and months is killing him, so he doesn't have a choice but to let them come back.
It hurts coz it will end up him living with his wife and kids in the same house. I cannot do anything but to agree to him, it's his happiness and i don't want to take it away from him. I felt the world collapses, imagining him living in the same house with his wife gives me very funny emotion. if they are not sleeping together i think i can still bare it, but i do not know if they will have separate rooms. Until now they haven't talk yet about the grounds on the come back of his family. I guess the wife will tell him not to see me again, or she will let him see me as before. It was clear though the their relationship as husband and wife is not healthy and maybe there's no way that they can work things out together to keep their relationship alive as before. I am not sure though, a lot will happen and i will not even know it.
I am thinking if i will continue to be his other woman. I am young well 27, and have life ahead of me while he is 41 and have 4 kids, a lot of baggage to care of. I love him and i care for him so much. I am still undecided on what i am going to do. Still going through struggles.
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist