I don't know what to do

by Jeannie

My husband and I have known each other for about 6 years. We met working at a restaurant when I was 16 and after he stopped working there, we didn't have any contact until 2012 which was about 5 years later. He found me on a dating site I was on and we instantly recognized each other.

From the moment we saw each other again, we were inseparable. He quickly became a huge part of mine and my son's life. We moved in together after a few weeks of dating and shortly after that I found out I was pregnant. We had our daughter in November of 2013 and got married in February of 2014. My husband has a history of drug use and he spent a year in prison because of this. We have had many rough patches in the past year. He used drugs again and I did not want that around my children or myself.

My husband started abusing me shortly after our daughter was born. He was working long hours for a tow truck company and we argued over him sleeping so much and not helping with the kids. He has told me that he wishes our sex life was the way it used to be when we first started seeing each other, and I tried to explain to him that with 2 young children so close in age it is difficult to find time alone with no one near to watch our kids.

We have a night alone and he spent most of the day with a friend playing video games and I visited with his friends wife. She invited me to dinner with her and her daughter and asked my husband if it was okay that I go. He said he was fine with it. I was gone for 45 minutes to an hour and came home. We watched part of a movie before he fell asleep. I tried to get him to go to our bed and lay down, and said I would be in after my shower. When I got out he was still laying on the couch. I sat in the living room with him until he got up and went to our bedroom without saying a word. I waited a little bit and then went in to lay with him. My husband has told me before that he would like it if sometimes I woke him up by trying to initiate intimacy so I tried when I got into bed. He told me to stop and to leave him alone and then rolled over.

I am currently 11 weeks pregnant and my sex drive isn't always high but I still try to make him happy. What do I do? I feel as if our marriage is falling apart right in front of me and there is nothing I can do to stop it. Can someone please help?

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Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist

418 Stump Rd., Montgomeryville, PA 18936


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