I feel like my husband puts alot of pressure on me by the way he speaks to me.

by Sarah

My husband seems to blame everything that happens in our life on me. When I had my first daughter, as she got older and we had to work out parenting styles etc, it became apparent how different we are.

We fight all the time about how to do things, he is really impatient and has a quick temper, but I tend to step in when he gets heated and he feels I take over his parenting (which I do and I am trying to step back). It got better as she got older but since baby 2 and he has had to step up more it's like world war 3 in our house. I feel like he puts alot of blame on me. So I just wanted a little advice on tonight's argument.

- I just finished cooking dinner and was bathing the girls, as I was walking to the bathroom my baby poo on me but I didn't notice as she was wrapped up in a towel so poo went on the floor from the bath to our bedroom. He then got angry and was like "oh what the? It's everywhere." Picks up my toddler and puts her on the couch and says to her "stay here, Mum has walked poo all through the house" in this really cranky voice. Oh and then doesn't help clean up or anything! It's like I had purposely got her to shit on the floor.

I am just wondering if I am being to sensitive about it? This is our main issue as I can't handle the way he speaks to me And then when I try to communicate how I feel he says things like I'm just whinging or that I like to fight. But I don't i just don't want to be spoken to that way.
I even left for a few nights I was that over it and he wanted me to come back and said he wanted to work as a team together but he then just does the same old shit.

Comments for I feel like my husband puts alot of pressure on me by the way he speaks to me.

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Jan 04, 2024
husband who puts too much pressure on you
by: Anonymous

I could say that your husband should at least help you in the house if he is a good husband, he should have common sense to help you when he knows you're doing something else, that's why we call it "Partner". It is ok to step in and fight for yourself and rights. We are all humans, we all get tired... we can encounter people who are lack in compassion, they won't feel what you go through until it happens to them. Love yourself first of all, we are not robots to be controlled by humans, we get tired, we feel pain and pressure. A good partner will understand you and help you when you are in need.

I went through the same situation, My husband wanted me to do two things at the same time, while he expects me to cook for him and serve him as well Which I felt he's putting too much pressure on me. I stepped in and fight for myself and rights. He told me every words that would hurt me. The best thing to do in this situation if he continues to insult you with words is to treat him with silent treatment so that he would know what he had done. Because when two of you are HOT both of you will explode and it's hard to take back all the words that you have already said. I did this and he figured out what he had done, he tried to talk to me and I just ignored him just to convey that I was hurt and don't want to talk.

Jan 27, 2020
My husband does the same thing
by: Anonymous

I came here looking for advice, because my husband does the same thing. Can’t find his car in the parking lot? It’s because I texted him at some point and distracted him and now he doesn’t remember where he parked. I would never hear the end of it.

I quit my job a couple months back because he complained all the time about me being gone and not helping around the house. I was in a high stress job with a very long commute and I worked 80+ hour weeks. We had agreed for me to quit my job and find something better. We had planned for a couple of months for me to be without a job. As soon as I put in my notice, he acted like it was the end of the world and started putting severely reducing everything, telling our kids that there wouldn’t be a Christmas unless I found a job. It’s been 3 months of looking and I am reminded every day that I don’t have a job. I’ve been looking every day, applying for jobs, I’ve become obsessed with finding a job, but my field is highly competitive.

I’m afraid I had enough of all the negativity and talking down to me, but I would be homeless if I left. I don’t know if this is abuse or if I’m being sensitive.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.

Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network