I Feel So Betrayed

by Kali
(Auckland, NZ)

My partner of ten years has become best buddies with my ex-partner, the father of my two adult children. He has even employed him. And i have also discovered that he has purchased him a car (the car purchase had been kept secret from me). And worse, that they talk about me and discuss the private and personal conversations between my current partner and myself, a fact i know to be true as one conversation was repeated back to me word for word by my daughter.

My current partner now lies to me and says he is popping out to do something, when in actual fact he is meeting up with my ex or taking him out fishing on our boat. There are many calls (spoken in code) between them also.

What really hurts me is that my current partner knows the terrible things my ex did to me when we were together over 14 years(had affairs, visited prostitutes regularly,lied constantly, would go to the shop and not come home for days, told everybody i was mad, etc) as he was there to help me pick up the pieces when we split. It took me a long time to recover from that relationship. I even attempted suicide.

I had no idea that i was being cheated on. I honestly believed everything he told me, my whole world as i knew it or thought i knew it was nothing but a dirty fat lie. I had spent 14 years of my life believing my life was something that it never was. I lost trust in everybody, even my own family. I hated myself for being so stupid and for being so trusting,loyal and honest. It was a dark place that i can say now i have recovered from, until now.

I worked hard to rebuild my life separate from my ex. But now i am forced to have him in my life again, and now spend 95% of my time alone as my current and my ex enjoy their lives together.

Mrs K

Comments for I Feel So Betrayed

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Dec 09, 2011
Break Free
by: Anonymous

Dear Betrayed,

Only you can put a stop to being "betrayed". Drop your current partner. It seems you simply picked the SAME guy as your EX, he just has another name.

They are both losers. Stop being a part of this sad, dysfunctional relationship. Wish them both good luck and move on.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.

Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network