If new vagina is considered better than old vagina, why does my boyfriend keep trying to cheat with his ex?

by Summer

He hasn’t only tried to cheat on me with her one time but more than that. Even when I saw that she told him that she knows he still is with me and that she isn’t the kind of girl to do something like that and allow him to cheat, he still finds any way to keep in contact/in touch with her. Even if it’s just liking a post on Instagram or making small talk.

It’s not like she provided much for him sexually because I remember her texting him when she found out about me from a picture I posted. We were next to each other in our Job Corp classes at the time, that’s how we met, and she was crying about how he could do that to her after she pretty much gave up all her first to him. She didn’t know anything, she wasn’t even experienced that was her first real boyfriend. So how can she provide more sexually.

I just want to understand how, if a person was unhappy with his ex, not that he told me that but he wouldn’t have cheated with me, if he was happy with her or ended up with me, why does he keep attempting to do this?

He’s done things for me he never did for or with her. I’m in Memphis with him right now visiting his real mother because his step mom and real dad raised him in Chicago so he doesn’t see his real mother much. He even stays with me and my mom back in Chicago.

She even got us a dog. I have pictures of
us all in my room back in Chicago and my mom even considers him her son in law. I still have a promise ring he gave me and creative poster he got me for my birthday back in February.

His friends are my friends on Facebook. We all tag each other in things and I’ve been around them.

Even when we had a little fight the other day, not over this, he apologized on Facebook, we were in the same house when he was doing it, but he still publicly apologized, shared memes and said he loved me. He must be happy with me.

On national boyfriend day, she posted a picture of him and tagged him in it first, I saw it and pretty much did the same thing and posted a picture too. I thought it was time for her to eventually find out anyway. She saw it and pretty much ended things with him.

But she was still hurt so, she messaged me asking for the truth about what had went on between us behind closed doors because he wasn’t being honest with her and he was telling her that I was just a friend, to spare her feelings obviously.

I told her the truth, when he found out she messaged me, he told her to never call or text him again and to stop texting “his girl(me). He was so mean to her, but he still can’t seem to leave her alone.

She’s not even all that, that’s is a old video he still has of her in his phone that he says he never got a chance to delete.

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Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network