Is this female into my husband?

by Anonymous

Is it weird that a single female friend of my husband’s handed him the Sex at Dawn book as she was leaving our house? She was a coworker of my husband’s and stayed in our trailer for a few nights (I was away at work for some of those nights but our kids were here) when their jobs were over since she’s basically a drifter and had no where else to go (before her next job which she promptly quit). There were sentences underlined in the book about how marriages are hyposexual and polygamy is the way to go. He never read the book (never opened it) nor have I (I just flipped through it and the underlined sentences caught my attention). I find it disturbing and very suggestive that she would like to have sex with him.

Also, she occasionally will text him (non-sexual stuff). Should he let her know that this is really bothering me (that she gave him that book)? She seems to be “stable” now with a decent job, so part of me wants him to let her know how I feel, then part of me wants to just leave this alone. Thoughts?

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Jan 29, 2021
by: Anonymous

I feel like if it bothers you enough to find this forum and write about, you won't be able to emotionally or mentally let it go until there is a resolution. Your urge to let it go is just avoidance of something that has the ability to fester because it is uncomfortable. You need reassurance that there are boundaries. These are boundaries that your husband should set because she may still feel like she has chances until he tells (if it is her intention to pursue him). Or, inappropriate behavior may continue, regardless of her intentions. He needs to tell her that the gift was suggestive and inappropriate and that conversations should be strictly plutonic because his wife is his one and only and any and all suggestions and advances are unwelcome. It makes me wonder if he ever confided in her about your sex life, maybe even in a moment of weakness or emotional distress. She somehow got some kind of idea that he may respond to that. It could always just be wishful thinking on her part. Either way, my suggestion is that you should talk to your husband about the lack of boundaries making you uncomfortable and to help you with this by setting that boundary. It could even strengthen your bond and trust to feel he has your back and prioritizing your feelings.

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