It happened a year ago. I still feel ashamed and upset about this issue..

by Justwannebeanonymous

Hope to hear your point of view on this relationship story.

I wish to bring this up even though it happened a year ago..

The guy who is your boyfriend....

1. Sends you home and sees you right onto the door step.

2. Requested you to call him, even after you are in the house, to say you are home.

3. Then when he reaches home, he will give you a call.

4. When you are going to bed, you must give him a call and he will always wait for you to sleep.

5. When you have breakfast, lunch, dinner, etc, he will make sure he buys you food first.

6. He will stand up for you when you feel upset, even to a certain extent of scolding the person who made you upset without informing you and sometimes spoiled your relationship.

7. However, you felt that it was all too soon as you just knew him 'cause it's only the first few months into the relationship.

8. Subsequently, he starts to ask you very often: can you confirm him as your husband?

9. When you dress up well in school, he will ask you "Is it to attract boys in your school?" when in actual fact you am dressing up well for him.

10. There was once when you were working, your boyfriend told you that your colleague seem to like you, and scared you by saying your colleague will sexually assault you, and asked you to quit the job immediately.

11. Then soon after that he made you do things you didn't felt ready for- physically.

12. Then when you start to feel uncomfortable, and even though of the no. 1-6 action, you just didn't felt ready but of course you didn't give yourself away.

13. Even though you are trying to warm up in this relationship, we just ended up in quarrels at times because of no. 8, 9, 10 actions. But the very next day it's once again, no. 1-6 actions.

14. However, there was once he said things like his family mistreated him, and even abused him by hitting him.

15. And because of no. 14 action, you question his family member; and one of his family members sent you a nasty message saying that they have never accepted you as his girl friend and you are just a nobody.

16. Even though you have met his family before and even have
dinner with his family, and his family were aware that you were his girl friend at that particular point in time?

17. Before this incident happened, when you met them they didn't even portray as if his family member would abuse him either.

18. He started telling you things, like his family didn't gives him money and he had to work.

19. Soon he started work. Then he requested you wait for him till the end of his work. Then he will buy you dinner and send you right at the door step as usual.

20. There was once when I saw one of your friends, which happened to be a guy, and you just say hello. And after that moment, he was a total different person. He threw the ring and the necklace you were not wearing at that moment, but you had put in your pocket though..

21. You started quarreling with him cause he stopped no.1-6 action after no. 19 action. You felt no. 20 incident was too ridiculous for him to become cold towards you.

22. He asked you to cool down and tell him when you are ready in this relationship.

23. You are in a confused stated. You requested him to return the art reference that you did for his study reference, and stop seeing each other.

24. As there was an immense amount of things you lent to him, we decided to meet at this particular place and time.

25. When you went there to take the things, he left it all there, with his family looking at you.

26. You were there all alone, and yet his family was there to see you off.

27. They didn't even help, and there was this lady who is not his family member, telling me off by saying that from now onwards you and that guy are not related.

28. And they all left me carrying all the art references which is like A3 sizes.

29. At that point in time, you were really at a loss for thoughts.

This is my very first relationship I have had.
I am confused and hurt, definitely.
Just putting on a strong frame.

P.S: What is your opinion and thoughts of this whole story?..

- Is this guy worth it?

- What is your thoughts of this guy?

- What is your thoughts of me?

Hope you guys will gives me your point of view and advise.

Comments for It happened a year ago. I still feel ashamed and upset about this issue..

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Jan 04, 2014
Quit Job!?!?

The first red flag that popped up was that he wanted you to quit your job because of a co-worker. Whether it was a minimum wage grunt-work kind of job or a high paying job that falls on your career ladder.... that is serious business. He will do anything to control the environments you are in... even if it means loss of income. Get out of the relationship, and stay out!

Jul 04, 2011
Learn . . .
by: Anonymous

Glad you left that dysfunctional, controlling relationship behind. Learn from this and remember not to pick the same kind of scenario in your next relationship.

Unfortunately, people seem to gravitate to the "same" type of relationship. You must make a mental note and effort to change your choices to one that is healthy and functional.

Learn from your past relationships, therefore preventing yourself from falling into another relationship of the same kind. Choose a relationship with someone who is whole in himself and allows you to be whole in yourself as well.

Key: "drive your own bus", take control of your life and allow NO ONE to dictate how you should be.

P.S.-- You'll be just fine!

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