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Left behind

by Sad Towritethiscomment
(RIUSA)

Okay, it's a little long winded but the scoop is that my child, who is 16, attempted suicide and was in counseling.

My child told the therapist (a child with bipolar disorder, mood disorder, anxiety and PMDD) that I, the parent, annoyed her and she wanted to run away from home.

Apparently the child wanted to go to a friend's home( I found out later "indefinitely"), but the therapist felt she should go to dad's who, by the way is an active alcoholic and has not been minimally involved for the last 6 years. This was all done behind my back.

All I got from the therapist is...let go...let her stay with dad for a month...

I questioned what was going on...no mention of the child possibly running away, or re: how to help her cope at home, with a stable, consistent parent(?)

I asked to speak to the supervisor to let her know what was happening.. but the counselor came to the rescue once again--attempting to convince me to let the child stay with dad. By the way,
dad only wanted to commit to one week, because after all he just got a new job (6 months ago) and is very stressed out...

Once again, I called the supervisor directly and told the story.

My feelings were:

1. My right as a parent had been violated: the right to be notified of the possible risk of injury ( leaving the home due to her unstable mental health) was not released to me.
2. My right to make decisions re: my daughters care, esp as being a primary care giver.
3. Keeping this a "secret" with my daughter ( "we didn't want to tell you, because your feelings would have been hurt if you knew why...)
4. Not receiving a request for a possible f/u med evaluation for the noted anxiety (a new drug had been started 3 weeks prior)
5. Not being part of the POC, and ...
6. Not encouraging the child to talk about how to cope with her uncomfortable feelings and help her to learn and adapt to life with coping skills !!! (isn't that the point of therapy???)
7. By-passing the need for Family counseling.
Is that enough?

Happily, ever after... a wonderful therapist came into our lives.

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"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
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Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network