Marital Problem

by Anonymous

I feel very depressed. Mine is a long story.

I am 26 yrs, Indian, married for 5 yrs and have 2 kids. Our marriage is been through problems since the beginning. I live with my in-laws' family. My in-laws put hands in our relationship all the time. My husband has 2 brothers and a mother. 2 of them married, and all of us live together. Very big family.

Me and my husband work. My in-laws bothered me from starting. They want me to work as a slave for their house. My husband manages all the money, spends for their family. I don't drive. I don't have a hold on my husband. He doesn't want to spend anytime with me. He and his family threaten me for everything. He doesn't support me. The brothers and their wives also very badly behaving to me. I don't have even 1 dollar with me.

I suffered everything for my kids. I don't want to live without my husband when I think about my kids. But I can't bear my in-laws. My husband doesn't care. When I tell him that they are bothering me, he says sister-in-laws have no problem. It is because their husbands always support them.

My husband and his family even behave badly to my family, and don't let me talk to them. I don't have any friends or relatives here. I feel very angry sometimes and show that anger to my kids. I don't want to do that.

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Nov 29, 2011
Some Thoughts On Your Dilemma
by: Couples Guide

Since you didn’t indicate whether you live in India or the US, it’s hard to know how much of this is a cultural problem or your husband’s lack of commitment to your marriage. I suspect it is the latter. Even though different cultures have different ways of how families treat married couples, your situation sounds like one in which your husband is controlling all the strings and you have few resources.

You have to decide whether you want to stay married to this man, who may be controlling no matter what the living situation is, or get out of what sounds like an abusive situation. To leave the marriage, you will need help from your own family or from social services, and counseling with an individual counselor.

Good luck.

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