Marriage Is A Big Step: The Choice Of The Time To Marry
(Charlotte, NC, USA)
The choice of the time to marry varies from one person to another. Some prefer getting married early like me, while others prefer late marriages. In both cases, there is need to understand the
workings of the marriage society before plunging into it. Marrying young is not always easy but It can be very beneficial.
One of the main reasons for early marriage is pregnancy. In many cases, young people who are not married have sexual intercourse without using any protection due to lack of information. As
a result, the girl may get pregnant and end up in an early marriage for purposes of securing a family for the child. False expectations is another reason for early marriage. Young people get into early marriages in search of protection, security and confidence. In this case several people get into early marriages assuming that they will enjoy life in a better way together. However, financial stability also causes early marriages to have problems. When young people get into sustainable employment, they quickly get into marriages since they feel that they are adequate and able to cater for their families. Another reason for early marriage is obsessions. At this
point, couples get into marriage so fast just to fulfill their sexual desires and needs. In most cases, most of those marriages end up in divorce.
Early marriage is beneficial because it offers permanent family support to the couple from an early age. This helps the couple to enjoy mutual development in life. When one Is committed to another person in marriage, he/she is determined to support it towards achieving their goals. Progress becomes vital for both of the partners since they have shared needs and experiences. However, those who get into marriage at an early age are able to get children at a young age
and therefore, take care of them during their employment time as they grow. This enables them to support their children in their major stages in life, for example, in education,
marriage, and even settlement.
Young people who are in engagement experience a lot of anxiety and fear of what is likely to happen in their future. This fear impedes on their development and on their anxiety to live a settled life. They get worried about who they will marry and where, when and even how. This fear undermines their lives and they end up wasting a lot of time looking for a perfect spouse to marry and live with. This also spends a lot of money and resources that would have been channeled to other useful activities and projects.
Early marriage is also a learning experience for any young couple. I have personally learned a lot in my journey of being young and married. One thing that should be known is that In marriage couples undergo various adjustments in life in order to be able to live together. For example, in physical, mental and even from a social point of view.
Early marriage life provides a good time for them to learn about each other and adapt to each other’s needs. At this point in
time, couples still have enough energy and ability hence adjusting to each other’s lifestyle takes a shorter period than when they are old. This provides more time for the young couple to learn from each other and chance accordingly. This is a good foundation for better understanding. After the couple adjust to each other’s lifestyle they then live for long years and enjoy long family life together. Such couples also experience less conflicts in their later marriage years.
In conclusion, marriage is a great responsibility, and everyone should consider the effects of getting married young. However, some of its causes are undesirable like early pregnancies and infatuations, the merits of it are many. A young married couple is still able to have children at an early age and nurture them. They are also able to learn from each other and enjoy sex life avoiding sexually transmitted diseases.
Eugene Kayser, lic. Marriage & Family Therapist