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Marriage Issues...

by Ravi
(Atlanta, GA)

My wife and I have been married for quite some time and our relationship has never been good. We are at the point where we can barely stand one another but I as a man and father (we have kids) am trying my best to make things work.


There is a lot of resentment towards me for how I have acted and it is not something she can ever forgive / forget me and her feelings are completely lost for me. We are trying to stick it out for our kids but it is hard because I am not able to be myself, natural or at a point where we can even have a normal conversation. Little things tend to upset her that I do not do correctly or to her expectation or liking. Issues that come up which are so small become a big deal and cause major problems. My wife's family all think negatively of me for fair reason, however I am not a person that wants any of this negativity.

I am looking for some direction or advice or willing to answer more questions.

Our situation is very complex but she supposedly is hurt too deep to want to fix or give a fair chance to me because she feels like its never going to be right. I do not claim or admit to be perfect but I know when I am wrong and accept faults. I am really looking for direction and advice because I have no one else I can trust or turn to at this time.

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"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
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Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network