Now Offering Online & Office Counseling

MARRIED FEMALE

by Anonymous

MY HUSBANDS OF 17 YEARS IS HAVING AN AFFAIR AND WANTS A DIVORCE. WE HAVE A SPECIAL DAUGHTER WHO HAS DOWNS SYNDROME AND IS TWELVE YEARS OLD. HE IS ALSO THE MAIN PROVIDER; I LOVE MY HUSBAND AND THIS DIVORCE WILL BE DETRIMENTAL TO ME AND MY DAUGHTER, ADDED TO WHICH WE CANNOT MANAGE FINANCIALLY ON OUR OWN. HENCE OUR STANDARD OF LIVING WILL BE GREATLY REDUCED.


I HAVE MANY EMOTIONS AS I FEEL VERY CHEATED, ESPECIALLY SINCE AFTER WE HAD OUR DAUGHTER I COULD NOT CONTINUE MY CAREER WHILE HE DID HIS. NOW I WILL BE SHORTLY OUT TO PASTURE WHILE HIS LIFE WILL BE FINE WITH HIS NEW AND MUCH YOUNGER PARTNER. I AM 50 AND HE IS 46 WITH NEW PARTNER 30. I NEED HELP DEALING WITH MY FEELINGS

Comments for MARRIED FEMALE

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 16, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Forgiveness for yourself
by: Anonymous

I too have felt the betrayal of a husband. I'm 48 with a 7 year old son. As I can no longer have kids, he began to seek out others. I feel as well I've put out to pasture.

I had put up with abusive behavior, both physical and emotional, to the point my self-esteem had all but died. I had given up work as he kept promising he would help me with a business.

I look back and realize that I waited for a change in his behavior that only got worse. Not only had I lost self-respect, but he felt he could treat me any way he wanted to and I would stay.

I, too, worry about finances as he already has painted as someone only interested in money and how much I could get from him.

I know a lot will get better with my life. It's devastating to be 'replaced'. I suffered a permanent disability because of what he did as well. The anger I feel at times only ends up hurting me.

As women entering an age where we should be cherished, it's sad how we've let someone else take our sense of pride for overcoming things and dealing with them.

What I've now chosen to feel towards my soon-to-be ex-husband is sadness. I do believe once we regain our true strengths and release a hurt inside that they will never feel, can we begin to heal.

I don't want you to think it's easy to move forward but you have to believe in yourself again.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Relationship and Counseling Forum.

If you would like to receive the Couples Guide Newsletter containing articles on relationships, please sign up below.


Visit  The Relationship Forum  to get and give advice on your relationship issues.

If you're struggling with your relationship, this is the place to talk about it!
Our counselors will answer your questions.
And you, our readers, can offer advice from your experience.


"You gave us counseling without making either one of us feel that you were taking sides.
You always maintained your impartiality with us. You encouraged Rita to be more assertive in stating what she wanted to get from your counseling sessions, as well as what she wanted to get from the relationship.
You taught both of us better communication between ourselves, which lead to an emotional comfort level between us that didn't exist before.
You took control of the direction of the session if things were not moving along.
Thanks so much
for helping us."

Rita and Mark

Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network