Mother is recently widowed and I'm trying to do what's best

by George LeBlanc
(Denver, CO)

Hello all.

My father passed away back in March 2020, leaving my mom alone and with a lot of stuff/debt. My parents had a very codependent relationship, with my mother being a enabler for my dad's spending habits and no personal development for herself ever(they live in the deep South and my dad got with my mom when she was a teenager and he was in his 30s).

Even fairly young at 50, my mother is inept at all things technology and is out of work. My family owns over 5 acres of land and small house outright, but we also have a family home that has been refinanced several times....leaving my mother still with a $125,000ish mortgage from a home of 25 years that is only worth about $80,000.

The money situation, the large amount of squirrled "stuff" and my mother's decreased mental health/ineptness is making me really consider looking into being her payee. I have two large barriers, one is that my mother is stubborn and has a lot of pride to consider me for financial well as me physically being located 1200 miles away.

Just wondering what the folks on thread think or if any advice/guidance could be given.

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