My dad tried to seduce my husband

My husband and I filed for divorce at the beginning of this year. We decided to try to work things out before the divorce was ever final. During this time, my father asked if I cared if he invited my husband to go fishing. They had always gotten along well and it seemed like my dad saw him as the son he never had. I told him sure.

My husband came back from the trip distraught and told me that my father had gotten tipsy on their trip, came out to him and told him he'd been attracted to my husband since he met him. My father apparently did all of this completely naked. My husband told him he wasn't attracted to men. This is how I found out my dad is gay. Because he tried to steal my husband. This wrecked us trying to work things out. It was the straw that broke the camels back. We decided recently that we want to try again to work things out, but my (now ex) husband says part of what's holding him back is what happened with my dad.

I haven't confronted my dad about it. He came out to me shortly after this incident but didn't mention my husband. Apparently my dad came out to my mom and grandparents when my older sister was a baby and he tried to kill himself. I'm afraid if I talk to my dad about what happened, he may try to hurt himself and I'm afraid to also because he's a very angry person and has a scary temper. He is also my only source of income because I work for him.

I don't know how to handle this. My kids are very close to my parents. Should I cut my dad out of my life? Move away? I have had a strained relationship with him since I was a kid, before any of this. He's always been very emotionally, verbally abusive.

Any advice would be appreciated. No one can wrap their heads around it enough to give me any real advice. Thank you for reading.

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Eugene Kayser, MA, MFT's profile on the Gottman Referral Network